


Yusuf and Ezio Adventures

by chocolafied, LunaTheLoneWolf



Series: Crack Creed [1]
Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Gen, Inspired by Real Events, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 13:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2270883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolafied/pseuds/chocolafied, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaTheLoneWolf/pseuds/LunaTheLoneWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ezio and Yusuf suffer with communication problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yusuf and Ezio Adventures

**Author's Note:**

> So I was actually unsure of publishing this, but I figured why not since we have a lot of stories so far, so why not post them? :D
> 
> The reason why there are no characters listed is because our version of "Ezio" for example is not the Assassin's Creed Universe version of "Ezio". My friend and I decided to try and match up personalities to AC characters and everything snowballed from there. So yeah :'D
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments below? And if you have any questions, please PM either LunaTheLoneWolf or myself ^^

**Characters in this story:**  
  


 

 **Ezio's POV**            

* * *

 Yusuf’s grin grew bigger as Ezio’s face turned the color of the chocolate box that she had gotten for Valentine’s Day; red.

 

           “Shut up, Yusuf.”

 

           “Ezio, you’re blushing.”

 

           “That’s anger,” the shorter one snapped. Her eyes that were usually a light blue were now turning lighter and colder as the seconds ticked by; seconds that in the other female’s head were spent counting down to the detonation of a bomb. And Ezio was a bomb, if you knew which buttons to press in the right order. She never got mad enough to kill Yusuf, thankfully; just storm away and cry in a corner whenever “Sofia” came up in conversation.

 

           How did this all started? one might ask. Well, the answer is simple enough. It all started with a simple carrier pigeon message.

 

           “I think you should wear your headband more often.” Ezio scribbled on a piece of paper and tied it to the nearest pigeon and then threw it in the air as hard as she could. The bird fell past the edge of the building and then flapped its wings as fast as possible to get away from the crazy assassin. Ezio paced around on the rooftop of the building she was on in the blazing summer sun and waited about two minutes before the next message came back on a more graceful pigeon. She took off the message of the bird and then quickly unrolled the small piece of paper.

 

           The brunette glared at the message with a confused face and narrowed eyebrows before looking at a building on the other side of the city with an unbelieving look. “…?”

           “Really?” she mumbled under an annoyed breath before quickly striding over to the table and hastily writing yet another reply before this time gently sending the bird on its way.  “But you find this random…”

 

           Another few minutes passed and another pigeon was on its way back to Ezio, this time the pigeon was barely able to fly and passed out in Ezio’s hands. “What the…poor thing.” She then unceremoniously let the dying bird fall onto the rooftop and then opened the message that she had gotten off of its leg. “Where did this come from…?”

 

           Ezio chucked the note away and then picked up the bird before walking it over and dropping it in the birdbath on the opposite side of the roof top. She then walked over to the table and wrote her note on the scrap of paper before tying it to a crossbow bolt. The brunette climbed the smaller building on her rooftop and then took aim to see a taller dirty blonde in a window, fiddling with what looked like another bomb that could bow Constantinople sky high. Lucky for the innocents, it was just a smoke bomb.

           A smirk came from the mentor as she aimed the bolt to land right at the smoke bomb, and then pulled the trigger. Satisfied with her result, which was a small BOOM! And much coughing, Ezio walked away and relaxed in the patio chair under a large sun umbrella she had set up at the other corner opposite the bird bath, picked up a nearby book, and began relaxing more than she should be for an Assassin.

 

“OnO.

P.S. Your bird is dying and you owe the faction a new one out of your own savings. Also, you might want to be careful as to who sees you with your “toys”.

           Sincerely,

                           Ezio Auditore da Firenze”

 

           High noon was rolling in and Ezio sat in her patio chair, humming contently while reading her book. She heard something collide with her belt buckles and moved to look down. Unfortunately, she wasn’t fast enough.

 

           The bomb went off and smoke erupted without mercy. Ezio rolled off of her chair and continued to hack uncontrollably as she moved to stand up. The smoke stung her lungs and breathing was harder than it should have been. Ezio almost pitied his targets he’s used smoke bombs on. Almost.

 

           Cough. “Yusuf…” Cough. Cough. It was another long minute before the smoke dissipated and the brunette was able to see again through stinging and watery eyes that were bright red around the rims. She looked down to see a note lying out in the open sun and then slowly squatted down to pick it up.

 

           “Fuck you. And that bird was YOURS and YOU are the one who started this nonsense (for a change of pace…)! Maybe you should take better care of YOUR birds! And I do what I please with my toys (As you can see ~;) ) Now really, where the Hell did that statement come from De-la-la-la?

           -Yusuf

           P.S. I don’t know why you signed with that Italian gibberish. I can’t even read it correctly, let alone speak it.”

 

           Ezio wheezed out a laugh and coughed some more before looking up to where Yusuf would be and flipped the bird at her.

 

           “NO THANKS!” The other Assassin replied shouting. The shout bounced against the buildings on the other side of the city. Ezio narrowed her eyes and cursed under her breath before dusting herself and jogging over to the table where she wrote her replies. The Assassin eyed the bird from before, expecting it to be dead, but instead it was chirping merrily and splashing about with its wings. Damn birds were a hell of an investment in Istanbul. Along with the horses. Horses always came in handy. Except when you’re on rooftops being chased by guards. That was a NO-NO.

 

           She finished her note and sent the bird on its way again, this time chucking it farther into the air than she had the last time. “I was just thinking about it oAo; It would suit you!

           P.S. I’m pretty sure the bird’s yours.”  

 

           A reply came a few minutes later when Ezio was taking a sip of water from the jug she carried at her waist. The bird landed gently on her arm and she unrolled the message while flinging the bird into the bird bath. The brunette’s face contorted into slight confusion.             

           “…whelp. Now you know what to get me for the next gift giving holiday.”

           Ezio walked over to the table and scrawled another note in reply.

“Since you’re bat shit crazy and all ._.”

 

“THERE SHE IS!”

 

“ASSASSIN!”

           Ezio turned around just as she was sending off the note to see the guards climbing up onto the roof top. She bent her wrists and the hidden blades slid down. There were only two of them, so she could afford to raise her notoriety by a little bit. She deflected one of the soldier’s swords and then stabbed him in the gut a few times before switching to the other guard and stabbing him in the throat before stabbing him in the gut and then throwing him down onto the roof top.

 

           She smirked at her handy work and let her blades slide back before picking one corpse up and throwing it down onto the street below that was densely populated. Ezio let herself laugh like a maniac as she picked up the second body and chucked it to another side of the street. And then the screams came and filled her ears as she chuckled to herself. The brunette turned to see the crazy bomb tech shake her head in disproval as she glared at her from another rooftop. Yusuf watched as she shrugged her shoulders and offered a nervous smile.

           The Italian would never learn, now would she?

* * *

**Yusuf's POV**            

* * *

 

           Yusuf sat at her work table with her bomb making supplies set out in front of her and a book set off to the side. She had been reading a new story that caught her interest when she remembered she was low on smoke bombs. She mused on that thought. “Maybe I should make a few of my… special bombs while I’m at it,” she thought as she started on her first bomb.

           About half way through, a messenger pigeon landed on the corner of the workbench. She glanced at it and sighed. “Wonder who wants me this time,” Yusuf grumbled. She got to a point in her work where she could pause and untie the message, wondering briefly if she was imagining or not the bird being scared.

 

           “I think you should wear your headband more often,” was written on the scrap in, what she knew as, Ezio’s barely legible scrawl. She just stared at the message for a good minute, her eyebrows slowly scrunching together in the middle of her forehead, as she tried to process just where the hell that question came from. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before just settling on setting the note down with a confused shake of the head. She then rested her forehead in one hand while the other grabbed a small scrap and quill.

 

           All she wrote were three dots and a question mark before tying it to the bird and sending it off with a wave of the hand. Yusuf went back to work on the bomb. Now she worked faster; knowing that once her friend got started, she didn’t stop. Well… at least until either something came up or they were able to talk face to face.

 

           She was close to being done when the pigeon came back. She gently set the bomb aside and untied the new message, now wondering why she would send the bird flying in the (nearly unbearable) heat. She read the message unamused. “But you find this random…”

 

           “No shit I find this random,” she muttered. But, instead of writing what she said, she let curiosity get the better of her and wrote, “Where did this come from…?”

 

           Again the bird was off and Yusuf was back to work on the bomb. She was finally finished when something flew through the window and straight into her new smoke bomb. The second she looked down and saw the arrow she muttered the first thing that came to mind. “Shit…”

 

Then it blew up…right in her face.

 

Yusuf stumbled to the window and hung her head out into the fresh air; coughing her lungs free of smoke while the rest flew out the top of the window. She tried opening her eyes and she could just make out the older assassin’s form rooftops away through her tears. “God…” Cough “d-damnit Ezio…” Cough.

 

Once the smoke cleared up enough (and Yusuf was done coughing up a lung) she went back to her workbench. This wouldn’t have been the first time one of her own bombs blew up in her face and it probably wouldn’t be the last either. Once she kicked the debris away, she noticed a note tied to the arrow shaft. Her eyes narrowed dangerously and her mouth thinned into a line. She tossed the shaft on the bench, sat down, and wrote the first two words of her reply without even looking at the note. “Fuck you.”

She was tempted to write more still without reading the note but, yet again, curiosity won. “Then again,” she thought as she untied the note, “there are other ways besides words to show my… appreciation for that delivery.”

 

“OnO.

P.S. Your bird is dying and you owe the faction a new one out of your own savings. Also, you might want to be careful as to who sees you with your “toys”.

           Sincerely,

                           Ezio Auditore da (something Yusuf can’t read)”

 

Yusuf tapped her quill on the bench with one hand as the other held the note. She could only assume that the completely illegible bit at the end was the rest of the Italian’s title. It was a blessing in itself that she could make out the first part of the name! So, setting the note aside, she finished her response.

 

“And that bird was YOURS and YOU are the one who started this nonsense (for a change of pace…)! Maybe you should take better care of YOUR birds! And I do what I please with my toys (As you can see ~;) ) Now really, where the Hell did that statement come from De-la-la-la?

           -Yusuf

P.S. I don’t know why you signed with that Italian gibberish. I can’t even read it correctly, let alone speak it.”

 

Yusuf tapped her chin as she thought of a creative way to send her reply. Then her eyes fell on the remaining smoke bomb supplies and her evil smirk spread across her face; the one where you ran for your live if you saw it aimed at you. Then she quickly set to work on making another, slightly bigger, smoke bomb.

 

Yusuf was very grateful for her shoes. With the high noon sun sending its heat down, everything in its sight became heated. She could see the heat radiating off the roof she was on!

 

It didn’t matter to her, though, as soon as she spotted the older assassin. She was only a few roof tops away… so it should make it to her. Yusuf checked again to make sure the note was secure before taking aim. Then she threw the bomb as hard as she had to just to get it to reach Ezio. She watched it arch through the air before it landed.

 

It exploded a second later into a huge cloud of smoke that rose off the roof top and coughing was heard. Yusuf just laughed. “Payback is a bitch, ‘ey Ezio?” she said lowly. It took a good minute for the smoke to clear enough just to see the older assassin once again. She watched the elder bend down to retrieve something and raise her hand. She could only assume the elder was giving her the bird (not the animal) so she cupped her hands around her mouth and took a deep breath. “NO THANKS!” she bent forward and yelled. She heard her own voice echo back to her and laughed.

 

Only a minute or two later, yet another bird was sent carrying a message. Yusuf happily untied the paper now thinking the elder assassin learned her lesson and she didn’t have to waste anymore smoke bombs for messaging.

 

“I was just thinking about it oAo; It would suit you!

           P.S. I’m pretty sure the bird’s yours.”

 

She didn’t really know how to respond to that message. The first part was random and the second… well, they could argue that one out for hours and STILL not get a result. So she just shrugged, climbed back into the house, wrote down the first thing that came to mind, and went back onto the roof to send it off. She didn’t mind the climbing so much since she DID need the exercise once in a while.

 

She saw the next bird going to her when she suddenly heard the familiar yelling of guards.

 

“THERE SHE IS!”

 

“ASSASSIN!”

 

Yusuf looked around, ready for a fight but nothing came at her. She looked around the rooftop, now confused, before looking at the other rooftop where the bird came from. As soon as she saw the older assassin fighting two guards, she smacked her forehead. “I don’t know who will learn first,” she grumbled to no one while shaking her head in disapproval. “Either the guards will learn to not attack the old coot or the coot will learn to not sit around on a roof top for everyone to see.” Then she sighed in annoyance as she heard screams coming from the street. “And she threw the bodies off the roof… again.”

Neither party would probably ever learn.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, first impressions? Kudos? Any feedback whatsoever? My friend and I would be ever so grateful :D  
> Yusuf: "My friend and I"? Don't talk about me like I'm not here! ...but yeah, feedback would be cool. Flames will be used to light my bombs. >:D


End file.
